February 7, 2008
The alarm went off early today for me… I have had trouble sleeping over the past several weeks and finally I’m beginning to get back on track. The reason for my troubles seems to center around my regular routine of January shut down of my industry in Toronto. Film and television productions in the city is very seasonal when it comes to Hollywood North and when December starts to wind down and holidays are just around the corner, my work opportunities dry up and the bank account is left in a holding pattern of new dollar deposits. Of course the routine of withdrawal doesn’t change from my existing bill providers which leaves me in a dilemma… this dilemma has been my routine throughout my entire twenties and newly visited thirties but it’s now something that has evolved into a new type of mind games. These mind games are self inflicted of course and involve a word everyone is oh so familiar with, STRESS. My stress has reached an all time high as of late due to the fact that I’ve mortgaged both my wife and I on a vision that we both feel strongly about, but still have steps to go to reach that pot of gold. Our bank accounts are nearly empty, debt is in the six figures, my wife and I have a few jobs on the go and it’s still barely enough to keep a float and still move forward… but we still push on with confidence in what we want to bring to the masses. I can’t tell you how much I love my wife and how much I appreciate the support she has provided me up to this point… the basket case that she has to deal with in my moments of stress and crisis can be a pain in the ass but she always calms me down before I become a facilitator of mayhem in my own mind. I thank you for that… xoxo.
With all that being said, I do have good news on top of all the stress which revolves around the television spin off series. The show is just about ready for presentation and I have a few parties interested in getting involved. With these opportunities on the horizon I’m still plugging away at editing the documentary and updating the website as we get closer to the end result so it can’t be all bad? The journey has decided to go the way it needs to go and my happiness shines brighter then my inflicted mental chaos even if it knocks me around a little.
Taking this perspective and stepping back from the stress that has been building over the last couple of months really came to fruition this past weekend when I got back from a film expedition in South Carolina. Columbia SC was the setting for my chapter involving the OBGYN and my theories of connection and communication between mother and baby during its term in the womb. I truly believe that the rhythm and beat of the heart has an affect on how the child connects to the mother. With my camera and questions ready, under the guidance of the doctor and ultra stenographer, I captured 3 stages of pregnancy and was happy and surprised in a surreal manner as my theories had some real basis. My best way to describe this to the mothers out there as well as people who genuinely find human connection interesting is picture the womb as a dance club while the heartbeat becomes the d-jay for the growing life that inhabits this environment. The sounds, the rhythms, the tempo, and the overall connection it creates is undeniable in its pre-linguistic type communication between the two. Of course this is all theory but to experience and witness it makes you feel something inside that can’t be described in words but can be categorized as ‘The Big Picture’. This truly changed me overnight and allowed me to find a sense of bliss in this financial turmoil that has been stressing me out. The ‘Big’ picture is truly something I want to live by when creating my art which is film and television as well as how I want to perceive on going situations that present themselves in my life. This is truly an experience…
This is all I got for you this month but I have a lot more of the sociology aspects of my mission statement to film this coming month as well as a few more d-jays including Lee Burridge and Nic Faniculli… The Global Groove Network is alive and well people!
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